Convivial Women

The Art of Convivial Living

Yayyy You're back! For a sure way to color your world convivial, sign up for my free newsletter and get news and updates on occasion from yours truly. ;)

Hello kindred spirits. It’s been a while since my last “inscription.” WARNING: This blog is the mother of all blogs I’ve written. I’m playing catch up to cap off the year so hold tight and hang with me for a moment. I have much to say.

Since announcing my move to Austin, I’ve been quite the gypsy mama, traveling back and forth from Dallas to Austin. My husband and I have been on the house hunt since renting out our home in November and haven’t hit gold yet, but I’m patient and holding out for the most convivial home of them all. It’s out there and I’m ready to plant my feet on the grounds of the State Capitol of Texas, or somewhere close enough.

Changes are brewing on the convivial home front…

This being in limbo, not knowing where my family will hang their hat and call home screws with a lot. With any kind of move you make, there is no way it cannot change you, and it definitely plays tricks on your mind.

I like to know where I’m going, what the plan is, a woman who, as one friend put it, “requires a lot of answers,” and when there are so many unknowns, well, I’m gonna get antsy, uncomfortable, and I’ll do my best to keep my irritability in check, but I can’t guarantee it.

Not knowing where I’m settling causes unsettling feelings about what to plan for, what to talk about, and it’s created some resistance about writing- really just blogging. You see, I’m a perfectionist (I know…I’m working on letting up) and I put these expectations on myself to crank out a “masterpiece” and share something worthwhile, something profound, and eye-opening, with you, every time. And yet it’s a blog. But it’s much more for me. (more…)

Tweet    

My dream of 2012 Hill Country Discoveries

As I lay in bed this morning, probably looking like a zombie pooped from the night before, you’d be surprised to know that in that very moment, there are myriad ideas bouncing off the walls of my mind.

I’d just had a dream that I was walking the grounds of a colorful mission estate in San Antonio.

The picture above is actually Bellas Artes with the Iglesia de las Monjas in the background in San Miguel de Allende, Guanajuato but hey! I’m trying to “put you there.” It seems this picture is what my subconscience drew on for imagery while I slept.

At first glance, the whole place was empty and it was just me and a few other people, including my husband who went venturing off on his own with my camera- the Nikon D5000 one! I was a bit annoyed by that, because I was left to work with a Kodak camera that I once used in 2000 on a trip to San Francisco for my 21st birthday. I wasn’t used to handling this little camera anymore.

When I think about what it feels like to hold my Nikon, it takes both hands to get the right shot and it can feel like I’ve got the whole world in the palm of my hands…or at least an image of it.

So I walked around the grounds of this rustic mission that was built who knows when and I was so impressed with the architecture and the huge bells used to call the faithful, and especially thrilled by the clear blue sky and occasional streaks of clouds that served as the backdrop.

Eventually, there were tons of people strolling alongside me, weaving in and around corners, going up and down iron wrought stairs. The food stands and little trinket shops had opened up for the day.

Soon, I awoke from the dream and began to think about all that is to be for The Convivial Woman in 2012.

With this move to Austin, I see myself discovering a whole new terrain of the state of Texas. Who are the people awaiting me on this new journey?What will I find in this new world I call home? What will I learn about myself and my own pursuit of life, love and happiness?

I’m going to discover all the little things that some might find weird, or not so weird, about Austin. I’m going to go in search of the puffed tacos in San Antonio that my Food Network Star crush challenged on his show, Throw Down with Bobby Flay.

Anyway, that’s what the next year has in store for me and you- discovering Austin, San Antonio, Fredricksburg (the cute little German-influenced town my grandma Lupe always talked about), and the hill country.

And something tells me there’s going to be a more fierce rebirth of my love and appreciation for the Tex-Mex culture (“my people”) in this part of Texas. I see more cumbias, more accordions, more queso (but not too much! This waist of mine is working that muffin top! I gots to control it.) and oh so much more. I can’t wait.

It’s a new dawn…it’s a new day…and I’m feeling (more than) okay.

Tweet    

5 Natural Remedies for a Convivial Woman’s Depression

Hey Convivial world of mine!

It’s been 3 months and I’m back. At least, I think it’s been that long since I last felt my true self.

Confession: I think I experienced depression for the first time.

I actually googled the symptoms and had many of them. Fatigued. Check. Hard time getting out of bed to face the day. Check. Preferred extreme isolation to socialization. Yup. Lack of focus and clarity. Writers block. A sense of hopelessness. All there in the imaginary dark room with me.

Having the sudden blues from one moment to the next. Oh yeah. Not being able to tear myself away from episode after episode of Mob Wives and Basketball Wives. Yikes! One could argue and say I was doing “research” to better understand the dynamics of female relationships, but I’m not one to shit ya…THAT’S when I knew something was seriously wrong!

I’m a full-time mama who is committed to nurturing her individuality, the writer in her, and building a convivial brand of her own

BUT I do the writing and empire building once my little bambinos hit the hay. It’s not always an easy feat, it can get overwhelming, and all three adventures (mama, writer, entrepreneur) take a ton of practice and patience.

Word to ya muthas: There’s no place like the home we make and no such thing as “life balance.” Don’t quote me on that, I’m just living it. I continue to juggle and drop occasional balls, but the key is learning to pick up your delicate heart along with all the balls and keep juggling. My own lessons continue and I just want to be brave enough to write about them here.

The Scoop on how things went down…low. (more…)

Tweet    

Convivial Minds Want To Know

A man named, Mike Klinger recently shared these words with me and his 30,000+ Facebook fans:

“Asking questions that leads one to discover (things about yourself, others, so-called facts & all that’s around you) is in of itself a path to BALANCE & understanding. No need to know all the answers–Asking the questions moves you there.”

For the record, I have a serious crush on this man’s mind. His words made me think of the time my friend said, “You’re a person who requires a lot of answers.” I’d never thought of it that way, but it’s true. To some, or many, this could translate to being considered a difficult personality. I do feel misunderstood, at times.

For instance, this way of being can get me into trouble with my husband, because a woman who requires a lot of answers might make a man feel like he has to answer to her. Uh oh, watch out for that manhood. That’s never my intention, but the fact is I always want to know what the plan is, where we’re at, how we’re doing. So, yes, I be workin’ some nerves on occasion, but I don’t hold back, because I do it for the good of all involved. There are times when I practice holding back my burgeoning questions and opinions when love is simply needed. Never easy to do and I don’t always nail it.

I require a lot when it comes to storytelling too. (The writer in me is giggling). This same friend was sharing a story and the amount of details they were offering wasn’t working for me, so I began shaking my head as if not enough and said, “I need you to PUT ME THERE.” I’ve also asked my friend to “give me a visual” when needed and my dry eraser board has had maps and mazes drawn on it. Just kidding about the mazes, but it does get pretty entertaining between my friends and I.

I simply want to understand better…deeply…completely.

I like to experience in every way I can, so if something isn’t clear or doesn’t feel right, I pose a question.

When it came to dating, that’s a time when I wasn’t easily won by words.

NOTE to all the single ladies (now put your hands up!):

Men will tell you what you want to hear to get those panties. I always tell my single girlfriends on the prowl, don’t let the guy know (gasp) what your standards are. Let him show you what he’s working with and if he’s willing to work for you. Otherwise, you’re giving him the script to follow and he will act the part if you make it too easy for him. You’ve gotta test ‘em without testin’ them or you’ll never know if he’s the real deal or just sending the ambassador. If he meets your standards without knowing or trying, then YOU will know and you will give him a go.

Convivial minds want to know as much as possible, because it can validate so much about how you feel, see the world, and treat yourself.

After reading Mike’s quote, I’m okay with being confused for a difficult personality. I won’t feel bad for asking questions, whether tough or just plain dumb. It takes courage to ask. I’m not someone who requires anyone to answer to her, but I am a woman who requires a lot of answers.

Ahh…sublimely complex never sounded so good…

Are you fond of feasting, drinking, and good company? Join me and my newest creation, The Convivial Supper Club, an intimate tribe of women who gather monthly to dine and enjoy thought-provoking guest speakers, mini-workshops and round table discussions! Come mingle and connect on a deeper level with other women who want to know- when it comes to a woman’s experience- what’s going on…what’s going on. (I always liked that Marvin Gaye song.) Get your invitation to the next dinner here!

Tweet    

The Convivial Supper Club

Once upon a time, I put on The Definitive Regal Chic Brunch in my home’s garden. I invited some very special women in my life for the purpose to spoil and treat them as the masterpiece I believed them to be.

From the food, to the decor and the activities we enjoyed, I can say it was an unforgettable experience for all. Recently, I’ve decided to recreate the experience for more women in the form of a dining out group in Dallas…

Introducing…The Convivial Supper Club

Fancy, eh? I like to get fancy as much as I like a bargain at the Goodwill store. But that’s besides the point.

The Convivial Supper Club is an intimate tribe of sensual, strong-willed, sublimely complex women who gather each month for private dining events around Dallas for the purpose to recognize themselves as living works of art and find ways to express it in their every day lives.

It’s an opportunity for women to let their guards down and go beneath the surface of the usual table conversation by way of mini-workshops and round table discussions that I conduct and incorporate into the dining experience.

We had our first convivial supper on Saturday, April 30, 2011 in a lovely private dining space at Cibus Ristorante in Dallas, Texas. The dinner was filled with surprises, laughter, and lively conversation, and the overall experience was enlightening, heartwarming, and simply delicious!

It’s all fun and Livin’ La Vida Convivial

Click the album below for a full look at the convivial time our first attendees had:

The Convivial Supper Club -

Back Story: From Inspired Couch Potato to Event Planner

In case you aren’t aware yet, Julia Roberts and Barbara Walters introduced the word convivial to my English-speaking tongue, and now, I have beautiful chef, Giada De Laurentiis to thank for inspiring this new group’s name. You just never know when fun and creative ideas will hit you, so it’s best to always be prepared.

So there I was lounging on the sofa watching TV and I peeped an episode of Giada At Home on the much loved Food Network channel. She was preparing none other than an Italian meal for her friends for a monthly gathering she called her Italian Supper Club. Just then, the convivial muse made an appearance and whispered in my ear, “Psst, The “Convivial” Supper Club…”

Now we all know damn well there isn’t anything that hasn’t been done under the sun that’s 100% original, so there! I kinda copied Giada! But not exactly or entirely.

Bringing this new idea to life was more about being inspired to get creative and find yet another reason to express myself.

For The Definitive Regal Chic Brunch, I give inspirational credit to designer, Rachel Ashwell, because it was after an evening of leisurely flipping through her coffee table book, Shabby Chic Interiors: My Rooms, Treasures, and Trinkets, that I was called to create an experience for my friends that could never be forgotten.

FYI: I had a post it note on my vision board that said, “Create The Convivial Supper Club” and months had passed until one evening, I just did it. In the end, it’s all inspiration, honey. Anything can spark an idea, but it means nothing until you get busy with your creative initiatives and bring about something of your own.

What dreams await your attention? What are you ready to create? If you’re on a mission or in transition, let’s get convivial. Learn more about my 1 on 1 Strategizing Sessions and how they can benefit you here.

Always ready to serve and delight,

***

P.S. DINE WITH THE CONVIVIAL SUPPER CLUB

If you’re in Dallas, click the links below and follow the steps to receive updates from me and your invitation to dining events as they happen:

LIKE The Convivial Woman Fan Page

and

Sign up for The Convivial Woman Mailing List

The food, the company, the intimacy and exclusivity of it all adds to the experience and I’d be honored to dine with you!

You can be sure to expect the unexpected…

Tweet    

“Up” Your Convivial Game: Part III

Decision Three: Choose your company wisely / Invest in your dreams

In this last episode to my 3rd part blog series of “Up” Your Convivial Game, let me tell you about a plane ride I took from Dallas to New York City last fall.

I was at a point when I was eager to start focusing on some personal goals; I’d been all about my family and would always be about them, but in order to contribute and share a better understanding of the world with my two sons, and to share my gifts with the world, I still have to go out and live in this world and pursue some dreams of my own. Otherwise, who the hell am I to tell my children to follow their dreams, have no fear, and that anything is possible and worth exploring? And what sense of conviviality can I preach if I don’t experience it for myself?

It was early fall and I was ready to “up” my convivial game, so I’d entered into a contest to win a free ticket to Marie Forleo’s Rich Happy & Hot LIVE in New York City- an event about making money as a woman entrepreneur, and focused on health, relationships, soul, happiness, and making a contribution in the world. It had my name all over it.

Once the results were announced and I learned another gal had won, I accepted my fate and knew that if I wanted to go, I would have to pay my own way. Normally, the story should end there, but for defiant creatives like me, it was just the beginning. (more…)

Tweet    

Late Night Visions: The Convivial Woman in Me

When I take the time to get out of my head and go deep into my heart’s memory of who the Convivial Woman is in me, these are the visuals for memories that come to the surface:

The caring granddaughter having a laugh on the phone with her 76-year-old badass, take-no-shit- grandfather who stands at 4’11”.

The girl dancing barefoot on the dancefloor to salsa and merengue with hands intertwined with fellow booty-shaking girlfriend or husband who knows how to make it “look like” he knows how to dance salsa and merengue

The cousin who tells the best scary campfire stories, cracks jokes and exudes pure love for her family and feels like a superstar when she’s around them

The wife who will stand her ground and tell her husband like it is when she needs to, then smack his ass ’cause she likes it and knows he does too (TMI? wink wink)

The same woman who will respect the hell out of her man when he stands his ground, puts her in her place, and later returns to reassure her of his love (Ahh…the love quarrel)

The girl who is uncertain about what to do or say to comfort dear friend crying before her; dear friend asks for a tissue and the girl accidentally lightens the mood by bringing the whole roll of toilet paper

The daughter who has the best laughs (shoulders shaking and e’erthang) while people watching with her Dad

The same daughter who can envision tag-teaming with her mother in a wrestling match any day because of their combined ball-busting spirit (NOTE: my feisty mama takes after her father and stands a 4’11” too)

The mother who stands with arms crossed and big smile as she watches over her young sons while they play wrestle or “fence” with the kitchen utensils that go along with the mechanical mixer

The sister who sticks peanuts up her nose on family road trips and freaks out when one gets lodged too far up

The SAME sister who freaks out when her hand gets stuck in pool tables in motels while on family vacation

The young woman who wore fitted black bodysuits and bright red pencil skirts with platform shoes on the sabbath…yeah, I was keeping it holy alright

The woman who brought both her sons into the world with determination and absolute courage and personal strength

The girl who’s a blossoming Spanish (as a second language) speaker and causes a small crowd at the dinner table to laugh when she’s asked her age and she replies, “Diez y Eight”

The woman who plans her exit from a corporate job to write, loses herself, then finds and recreates herself again and again with the help and vision of one word…convivial.

Ahhh…my heart’s memory is a turquoise jewel which has made “breaking night” so worth the lack of sleep. So much more to tap into, but I’ll save it for another day.

Stay tuned this week for the last part to my 3-part blog series titled “Up” Your Convivial Game!

Ciao Ciao Convivial World,

Tweet    

Farewell Violet Eyes: In Remembrance of Elizabeth Taylor

Wow. She’s gone. Like, today.

I was visiting some friends this morning and popped open the laptop to check on an event we were discussing and BAM, right there on the Yahoo homepage,

Elizabeth Taylor: 1932-2011.

GASP! My jaw dropped and I announced the shocking news to my friends.
Then…a cold chill ran through my body and I had to suddenly hold back a rush of tears to my eyes.

Of course, at her age, it was bound to happen, but it’s still heartbreaking.

Elizabeth Taylor. An American Icon. What a loss.

Farewell violet eyes,

Tweet    

Taking The Stage, Fear and All

In a Ted Talk given by Sarah Kay of Project V.O.I.C.E., she recites two poems and speaks candidly about the power of the written word spoken aloud. There was a moment during her talk when her nervousness was evident; she was even bold enough to call herself out on it while on stage. I’m sure I wasn’t the only person to connect with her in that moment when she showed us her humanity.

Her sense of playfulness, energy and spirit resonated on a deep level with me, and although she’s a seasoned spoken word artist, she still experiences nerves on stage, but no matter the fear, she does it anyway.

Performing ones words on a stage is risky business.

I do it here and occasionally exit this virtual stage for a real one at say a workshop, networker or a convivial gathering. Every time I think of getting up in front of people, I imagine all chairs screeching so audience members can get a better look at me, and the nerves come out to play, but…I do it anyway. I recognize that one aspect of my discomfort in having all eyes on me is the introvert in me, but thankfully, I’m affable and can balance it out. The bigger part is simply a matter of more practice. Just as babies don’t walk out of the womb, neither should we think our fear of the unknown or stepping out in front of people to do what it is we do (or want to do) can be overcome in an instant or banished altogether.

We never stop fearing. We only get better and bolder at facing it. (more…)

Tweet    

Convivial Cameo: Karie Hill, Financial Freedom Coach

“There are three crucial types of education: Academic education- reading, writing and basic math; Professional education- the skills to work for money; and Financial education- the skills to have money work for you. Which of the three were you taught?” -Robert Kiyosaki, Rich Dad, Poor Dad

Today, my Convivial Interview series begins! I’m going to be featuring some amazing women who personally influence and inspire me. You can look forward to these women’s stories of how they’re making tough choices, taking risks, and pushing through the glass ceilings of self-limitation in their minds to create meaningful lives for themselves and others. Stop by each Monday for the next month for all new, inspiring interviews. Let’s get started!

In November 2010, I attended Rich Happy & Hot LIVE with Marie Forleo in New York City and met a beautiful woman from the Chicago area named, Karie Hill. On a break, we got to talk and I asked her about the work she was doing in the world and she said, “I practice Financial Well-being and teach others how to do the same.” As the Chavarria family CFO, an ex-banker-turned-entrepreneur, and Convivial Life Strategist, my eyes lit up as I envisioned the worlds Karie could rock for the better.

Meet the woman behind KDH Financial, Karie Hill

and see why I believe her work can change so many people’s lives, including yours… (more…)

Tweet    

“Up” Your Convivial Game: 3 Part Series

Decision 1: Work with a coach and do some inner work

There were plenty of strategic decisions which led me to decide on and make the transition from Convivial Society to The Convivial Woman. Self-awareness, personal motivation, outrageous self-belief, intentional tribe building, conscious action and the beauty of synchronicity all played their part in this new creation.

The idea to possibly change the name of the site first came to me in the Fall of 2010 while working with my coach, Lisa Carmen of SacredSexyU. Lisa’s coaching is normally geared for women who want to reconnect with their sense of self, femininity or sexuality, and she even offers sensual dance and movement sessions, but I didn’t necessarily find myself lacking or needing to connect with myself in those ways.

Instead, I saw my connection with Lisa as divine intervention. When I first quit my job in banking and returned from being on sabbatical in central Mexico in 2005, I was searching for answers, signs to help me along my new path as a writer. I came across a flyer at the local bookstore of a group called Spark, for women wanting inspiration and connection. I signed up for the updates, received a couple of email newsletters and remember the group organizer’s name was Lisa Olson, but I never made it to any event and went on living my life.

Fast-forward to 2010, a girl named Lisa Carmen “friends” me on Facebook and begins showering me with praise and support for what I was doing with Convivial Society. I felt this sense of dejavu when I looked at her pictures and read her words, then…it hit me (more…)

Tweet    

Behold The Unveiling: Convivial Society relaunches as The Convivial Woman

Ladies and Gentlemen,

It’s the most anticipated event we’ve all been waiting for…

Relaunch Day for TheConvivialWoman.com!

Before you make your way around the site for a peep at what’s new, I’d like to share a personal message on audio with you, but first, this quote…

“The work of art is another human mind incarnate; not in the flesh and blood, but in sounds, words, or colors.” -The Art Instinct: Beauty, Pleasure, Evolution

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO MY WORDS & MORE

.

As The Convivial Woman, I am here to say…
Every woman is a masterpiece.
An extravagantly unique & inimitable creation. Her very existence is a great work of art.

And ask the question…
So, how do you treat a work of art?

It’s my personal commitment to live the answer…
With dignity. Reverence. A sense of majesty. And a sense of humor.

My desire is to inspire the same in you.

I’m all about Convivial Living…

joyful connecting, conscious action, and uncompromising self-care, and I plan to fill this space with a plethora of refined word gems to demonstrate that. When you make a conscious choice to see and treat yourself as a work of art, you inevitably create a life of artful intention for you and the world around you. That’s what we’re here to do.

“I’m not a businessman. I’m a business, man.” -Jay-Z

The Convivial Woman is not only my artform, it’s also the work I’ve been called to do in the form of articles, lifestyle guides, 1 on 1 strategizing sessions (think: creative brainstorming/dream accountability partnerships), intimate workshops and travel retreats. To receive updates, news and special links and offers on events as they happen, sign up here.

To celebrate my shape-shifting nature along with this grandiose day, stay tuned for an extra special blog post tomorrow, then join me for a series of Convivial Interviews starting this Monday, March 14 where I’ll feature some amazing women (and men!) who inspire me. We’ll talk about life, love, entrepreneurship, spirituality and share tips on breaking free from self-limitation. They’ll also share how they are making the very personal choice to show up in the world and give you a sneak peek into their convivial lives, as well. It’s gonna be fun!

If you haven’t done so yet…

Become a member of The Convivial Society

- now known as my monthly newsletter- to receive important links, event news, and personal messages from me. Drop your name in the hat right here.

I’d love to interact and know more about you, so honor me with your presence and LIKE my Facebook fanpage or follow me on Twitter as well.

Join me for tomorrow’s very first blog post as www.TheConvivialWoman.com- I’m calling it Up Your Convivial Game because that’s what each new day calls us to do. You can come back on your own or have it delivered directly to your inbox.

Now go ahead and peek behind the imaginary turquoise curtain and take a stroll around the newly revamped site to get to know more about me and what I am offering. Convivial times await you and I…

With fierce admiration,

Cheryl Chavarria

P.S. I’d love for you to say hello with a comment on the blog (below), or on facebook and twitter so I know you honored me with your presence!

P.P.S. If you want to finish jamming to that song I shared in the relaunch memo, CLICK FOR SONG HERE. See you tomorrow!

Tweet