Archive for August, 2010

Complimentary Gift For You!

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An open invitation to any woman who wants to know her power, act more confidently, and live more convivially…

FREE INSPIRATIONAL DOWNLOAD FOR YOU!

Last year on my 30th birthday, I was inspired to be the giver vs. receiver of gifts. Such an act of pure selflessness gave me a great sense of what it means to be convivial and has served as a lasting memory for me and those who celebrated with me.

I’ve decided to make it a yearly ritual and this year’s birthday present has your name on it!

I’m deeply grateful for all the support and love you have shown Convivial Society, so here’s some love right back at ya!

Download your FREE COPY of
THE CONVIVIAL WOMAN: A Declaration Of Who You Are (more…)

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Giving Into Reverie

Staring out the window that overlooks my garden, I see the trees rustling in the wind and soon find myself in a state of instant reverie. A stream of thought flows through, causing me to recollect on various experiences in my life when I’ve felt disappointed in myself and in others.

For the most part, when I wasn’t happy, I walked away, but there have been many instances when I stuck around, tried to pull me and the other person through a tough or awkward time with the hopes that something could change, that I could help in some way, that I could understand my experience better.

Just when I thought my stream of consciousness was coming to an end, this message came through to me:

When you finally learn to listen to your heart and follow its lead, everything changes within you and around you.

I was so compelled by the sound of these words that I had to share them. I thought about the many ways to apply this truth: receiving new people into my life, overcoming negative thought patterns, facing my fears, taking on new challenges, leaving behind less than favorable circumstances and sometimes people contributing to those circumstances, forgiving myself and others for lack of wisdom in trying times, and oh so many more.

Letting my heart lead me in action means I am no longer a slave to my thoughts about a particular situation, person, experience and when I am no longer enslaved by thought, then my ego is dead and no harm or hurt can come or be done.

I’m not the first or the last person to experience toxicity of the mind, body and spirit, but I know I can minimize it by taking the time and action needed to release it…to be released.

Learning to distinguish between experiences that matter and ones that don’t can be a constant and conscious life practice.
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Being a follower of the heart can cure so much, perhaps almost anything. The definitive results are love and that’s all anyone or anything needs, right?

If your heart moves you to do something, do it.

If your heart tells you to let go, let go.

If your heart wants you to walk away, walk away.

Opportunity abounds when it comes to finding peace in your heart and letting yourself live out loud. When you find a message speaking to you, give it the attention it deserves because you deserve it. When you do that, ohh the places you’ll go…the people you’ll know.

Surrender is not only a beautiful word, but just as beautiful an experience.

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The Convivial Woman Photography Project

This is the start to my newest creative adventure and its my deep longing to give women yet another reason to radiate, to smile, to laugh, to be the center of attention, and have all eyes on them.

I’m calling it The Convivial Woman Photography Project and the fun is just beginning! My plan is to provide a space that will encourage each woman’s convivial spirit to find freedom in the moment, in front of my camera, and come out to play. With the click of a button, I capture her spirit forever.

I don’t have a set idea on how many women I’ll photograph, but they’re lining up and I’ll have to let pure inspiration lead the way and see what happens. When all is said and done, my purpose is to ask every woman this question:

How do you want to be remembered?

We can choose to answer in many ways, but how often do we choose to answer it in the form of a photo shoot? This is the opportunity and experience I want to give.

So! To introduce my first Convivial Woman, I photographed my long-time friend and once upon a time colleague in the world of Finance, Maribel. She’s a born and bred Dallas girl, mother of two beautiful children, devoted family member, extremely hard-working and the best confidant a girl could have. She’s got the most gentle of hearts and I’ve gotta pimp this message out to the world when I say she has massive brainpower! When I’m stuck and need a good brainstorming session, she’s my go-to girl. When I’m with her, I can be myself 100%. We all need those women in our lives! Last but not least, I gotta say…she eats her food in the cutest of ways. No really, it’s a joy to watch her begin a meal.

Without further delay, Get access to her photo shoot by clicking on the album below. Go ahead…you know you want to!

Convivial Woman Photography Project

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Permission to be a Woman

Over the weekend, I went to a family gathering and met a couple and their daughter for the first time. While sitting at the table conversing, their 8-year-old little girl came from upstairs to tell her parents the other girls she was playing with were not being nice to her, saying things like they didn’t want to be her friend anymore and then she began crying when she said one of the girls had slapped her. Errr! Put the needle back on the record!

I was sitting next to the mother hearing bits and pieces of the discussion and what really threw me overboard was when the girl’s father, who seemed uncomfortable with her crying, asked her, “Well, did it hurt?” I thought, “What?!” Was he insinuating, “If it didn’t hurt enough or leave a mark on you, then hush up and take it like a man.” Was this his idea of tough love? I didn’t hear if the mother said anything about the slap, but that comment didn’t sound good to me. I don’t believe they didn’t care about their daughter, but it didn’t appear that they took her negative experience seriously.

I’m reminded of a friend who shared with me and a few others how she cries too easily and feels weak when it happens in front of her kids and husband, but she says she can’t help it, it’s just how she is. Another friend sitting next to her said, “Oh, that makes me feel so much better, because I am the SAME way! I cry so easily too and hate it.” That same friend brought up crying on another occasion and asked me, “When was the last time you cried?” I went blank. You see, I have trouble crying. I feel the emotions building up within me and wanting to burst out like a volcano, but throughout my life, I had experiences like the 8-year-old little girl and learned to tame my emotions to a flaw. It’s even affected me when it comes to showing excitement at times. I feel this blockage. I base my reaction on logic versus emotion in most instances.

When I heard Eve Ensler of The Vagina Monologues once say, “We are emotional creatures,” I was relieved beyond belief. It was the first time someone had validated my nature. Somewhere along the way, I became a victim to the myriad messages I heard in times of extreme vulnerability telling me to be strong, tough it out, to save it for later, hold it in, don’t start, not now, I don’t want to hear it, suck it up, and the times my tears were questioned. I was being questioned for just being…a girl.

Here’s what Eve Ensler thinks about being a girl:

I think the whole world essentially has been brought up NOT to be a girl. To be a boy really means NOT to be a girl. To be a man means NOT to be a girl. To be a woman means NOT to be a girl. To be strong means NOT to be a girl. To be a leader means NOT to be a girl. I actually think that being a girl is so powerful that we’ve had to train everyone NOT to be that.

We come into this world crying; it’s how the doctor stimulates us to confirm that we are alive. But once we leave, we are encouraged for the rest of our lives to repress our tears, our emotions, hence our very nature. Being an emotional creature is the very essence of being a woman. I would be a man otherwise! I’ll admit that I have been much more in touch with my masculine side than my feminine side for a long time. It’s a form of self-preservation and protection and has served me well, but I am trying to find balance and embrace the more vulnerable aspects of myself.

Thankfully, becoming a mother to two boys has helped me release my tears easier. It happens at unexpected moments, like when my oldest took a ride on his first bike and called out to everyone standing watch to see what he was doing. I was filled with such joy that the tears just flowed and felt good. My husband is a wonderful example of an emotional creature who happens to be a man.:) Tears flowed from his eyes before he could get the words out of his mouth the day he said he was in love with me. I remember wiping all the tears from his cheeks. I can’t help to think life paired us together for a good reason. I wouldn’t doubt it. There are so many opportunities to learn a new way to be, to reverse the blocked pathways in my memory so pure emotions can flow once again. And I’m open…open to them all. I admire tears and vulnerability and humility. I want to experience it all with abandon myself. I want to make it a life long practice.

Quote taken from Eve Ensler’s Embrace Your Inner Girl talk on Ted.com.

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The Definitive Regal Chic Brunch

Recently, I was inspired to put on the ritz in the form of a Regal Chic brunch for my girlfriends. There was no exceptional reason for the occasion other than my desire to spoil the women in my life and give them an experience they wouldn’t forget. How many women want to be spoiled? Raising my hand! But, how often do women spoil each other? It’s all about letting love get the best of us and spreading the joy. I gave my friends one month’s notice to mark their calendars for the event; told them to save the date and gave no inkling of what to expect. Little by little, a vision for the event began to reveal itself to me and with each new inspiring thought, I took to the stores and prepared for the big day. Initially, it was suppose to be a convivial day spent with just my friends, but then the whole life coaching with Lisa Carmen came about, and I began to think about challenging myself in ways I hadn’t before, so I chose to treat the brunch as a mini-workshop. It was an opportunity to take my efforts to empower and inspire women offline and stand before them in person. I was nervous about what I would do, what I would say, how the whole presentation aspect of the event would flow, but I decided to take the risk, to face any fears that might surface and put myself out there in a new way. It was time to take the stage.

When the day came and all was set to go, I felt my power coming through for me like a dear friend. I was no longer worried about what could go wrong or what I could miss saying to get my desired message across, and I especially wasn’t listening to the voice within saying, Who do you think you are doing this…What gives you the right to stand before a group of women and want to empower them…You don’t have anything valid to say…blah blah blah. I decided to let my heart lead the way and surrendered my desire for complete control. What a relief it was to be a follower! I felt such confidence as everything slowly came together. My guests began to show up and wanted to offer a helping hand, but I smiled and said, “I’ve got it covered. Just enjoy yourself today.” It felt wonderful to serve others, to offer all the love in me without any conditions, any expectations of getting payback.

When all was said and done, the event was a hit! I allowed the weight of the world to fall off my shoulders, thus creating a similar atmosphere for the women in my company. We had entered into a Convivial Society and anything was possible. I saw joy, expressions of pure elation, witnessed the little girl in every woman playing and giggling as they participated in the meal and activities. I felt light on my feet, formless, as if only my spirit walked around overseeing the event. I believe that’s what truly happened. My mother was my right-hand woman in bringing it all to fruition and I couldn’t have thought of anyone better to choose as my partner. By taking on the challenge to stand before friends as The Convivial Woman, I had stepped into a new realm. I had taken the idea of a Convivial Society and turned it into a real place, a real moment, for real women. I can only move forward from this point on and the ideas for more events are making their way to the forefront of my mind’s eye. Creation…it’s quite the beauty to experience. Fear or no fear, I’m wide awake and behind this wheel now…there’s no turning back.

Feast your eyes on the brunch pictures by clicking directly on the album below.

The Definitive Regal Chic Brunch

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