Archive for January, 2010

The Bossy Bohemian

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Bossy Bohemian…one of many ways I see myself. What’s this alter-ego like? She, well, me…better yet, I view the world with an open, winding, ever-expansive mind. Always questioning, searching for the lesson, the teacher, the meaning in everything. I’m intrigued by and attracted to words like gypsy,vagabond, artist and entrepreneur, but commit to no labels, belong in zero categories. I’m a humble snob. A possible combo in my own little private Bohemia. I pave my own path, make my own judgment of character and circumstances, and choose relationships and experiences that cause my spirit to rise up and say “Cheers.” I shower and choose to let days, weeks pass without razor in hand, giving in to my curiosity to see how long armpit hair can grow. With intention to spoil the man in my life, I slowly and gracefully shave…taking such precious moments to smile and appreciate the sweet, subtle scents of my body while considering all the ways she has worked for me. A simple act of maintenance turns into a moment of gratitude, of being present, which in turn conjures up my respect for the female anatomy, my love for her…for me…for humanity. I am not mistaken for someone who lets herself go. No, I am certainly well-groomed, definitely put together, consciously standing tall before you. I say how I feel, eat close to nature, and love how I look. I dress in turquoise and indigo and know the effects such hues can have on the spirit, how they can penetrate through to my inner being and guarantee a stronger, more confident stride, hence footprint on this round mother of an earth. I’m sassy and compassionate, accepting and kind toward my fellow woman, flower, man, child, creature, land. I say what my tongue craves…motherfucker among the favorites. I dabble in this and that and don’t worry about a profession “defining” me. However, make no mistake about my professionalism. I happily wander, get lost, find my way again, then get lost again, and wander off again. It’s confusing, I know. I am. To you. To me. And guess what? It’s all good. I’ll be misunderstood most times, by most people, and I won’t be liked sometimes, many times, but it’s all part of the game and every new day I get to play, I understand more. Patience and faith are good friends of mine and I continually take risks and step forward into the unknown with eyes wide open knowing the answers await me. Bossy bohemian…it’s my way of being and it gets me through this convivial life. So as I dance my way back into the every day routine of things, I sign off and encourage you to go on with your bad-bossy-bohemian self, girl. We all have a bit of her in us.

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Discover Your Style and Make a Statement

I’m a faithful supporter of Danielle LaPorte’s site called White Hot Truth and am grateful for the moment in time we shared at her exclusive Austin, Texas Fire Starter Session in September 2009. Her energy was radiant, sexy, alluring, enlightening-my kind of company. She co-authored the book Style Statement and so I got a copy to appease my curiosity and potentially discover more about myself and what I wanted to say to the world. After some serious fun scribbling down and analyzing all the little idiosyncrasies that make up who I am, I discovered (well, already knew but wanted the confirmation) that my style statement is:
Genuine / Sensual. Ultimately, I have the final say about who I am and this book’s conclusions about me are not the end all, but I’d still like to recommend the experience of getting to know oneself better via the Style Statement book. If you’re interested in causing the gems that make up your mind, body and soul to surface and reveal themselves, grab a copy of the book and get started answering some pretty intimate and intriguing questions about yourself. I’ll post my personal notes and insights gathered from this fun experience at a later time.

Learn more about finding your Style Statement here.

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A Convivial Sense of Security

A man walks into the doctor’s office carrying his daughter who was about ten years old and took a seat next to me. Glancing over at the young girl in his arms, I saw scraped knees and additional bruising and cuts on her knuckles and imagined a pretty good fall had occurred. After seeing her wounds, I met eyes with the girl and saw her bruised spirit as tears began to well up in her eyes. Her eyes communicated a girl who was hurt, vulnerable and fragile. And now, here she was cradled in her Daddy’s strong arms. It seemed all was going to be just fine.

I wondered what that did for her soul, for the future woman in her.

Instantly, I was transported back to a rare moment when I found myself in my own father’s embrace. I was about four years old and attending a church service for a family friend’s brother who had passed away. I had fallen asleep and my father picked me up to carry me out of the church. I remember waking up to see our friend’s son looking up at me. I pretended I was still asleep and rested my head back on my father’s shoulder.

I recall the feeling of security I got in my Dad’s arms. I felt protected, cared for. The memory makes me realize how important it is for a young girl to experience a father’s love and the security that comes with that love. Nothing is perfect, but there is a dynamic between father and daughter that sets the tone for how a girl may feel about herself and conduct herself in relationships with men later on in life. Many girls nowadays are growing up without the experience of a father’s love and it is my conclusion that this is a key factor as to why many women are giving away so much of their power in male/female relationships.

We have so much value and power yet so many of us women don’t realize it.

And when we do know, there are moments when we can forget. When that happens, it shows in our behavior, in our relationships, in our appearance, in our homes, in our families, in the decisions we make and most importantly, the decisions we don’t make. It shows in the ways we look for love.

In January 2008, I had the pleasure and privilege of meeting Michael J. Lockwood, author of the book Women Have All The Power, Too Bad They Don’t Know It, and I want to share something he said that stayed with me after our meeting:

Women are a prize to be won.

It’s one thing to say it, and hear it, but how many of us believe it? Demonstrate it in our actions? In the way we teach people to treat us? To value our wants? Our time? In order to be the change you wish to see in your world…it starts with believing you are a prize and finding security in that belief.

But it doesn’t end there. You must then go out and…

Live according to that belief,

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Cross of Changes

San Miguel de Allende, Guanajuato

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The Infamous Writer’s Question

For as long as I’ve called myself a writer, there is always the infamous question posed by others about my craft, “So…what do you write?” Many times before, I’d draw a blank. What do I write? Is there a name for it? I mean, a specific one? I was being asked to label what I wrote, and I’m not a fan of labels. I felt cornered to give it a name, as if it was the same thing each time I wrote, the same message, the same impact. And it never is. Only now have I figured out the simple truth about what I write and all gratitude goes to Beat generation writer, Jack Kerouac. According to Jack, and now me, “I write how I feel.” Simple and true. However, this answer may not satisfy inquiring minds, but let me continue with what Jack once said: “Write how you feel, because feeling is the essence of intellect, because without feeling nothing can be known…” Jack’s idea can easily transfer over into every day life, as well. Recently, I was reminded by a dear friend that we are here to take nothing away with us; only to experience. As a writer, I am here to experience, to feel all that I can, and to express it in a way that is true to me. I am nothing other than pure energy and feeling in this world.

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Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards. – Kierkegaard

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Say Yes To You

“If you say YES to yourself, if you let your imagination fly, if you open one stuck, fear-wharped door, other doors you never even noticed fly open, pushed by a spirit strong as a hurricane.”

-Beverly Donofrio, author of Riding in Cars with Boys

Say “Yes” to people and experiences that nourish your spirit; it’s mandatory, top priority. Me, myself, and I…take care of numero uno and the rest falls into place.

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